The Daily Planet Company Bowling Team
by broadwaybuff
Summary: What happens when The Daily Planet sends their best men and woman for the annual bowling competition? Chaos ensues, especially when a certain man in tights keeps getting interrupted by his 'side job'.
1. Our Bowling Team

**THE DAILY PLANET COMPANY BOWLING TEAM**

**A/N: Okay, I love writing pieces based on humor! Especially when they involve my favorite characters! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Synopsis: The Daily Planet has a company bowling team and they must have a showdown with their arch-rival company, The Metropolis Times! All kind of mishaps and competitive spirit soar in their match! What will happen? Read on!**

**CHAPTER ONE**

Lois sat at her computer, staring at the screen proudly. "I have finished my article! And it isn't even six o'clock yet! I am on fire!" she exclaimed happily.

"Hey, Lois. What article did you write about?" Clark asked, walking up to her.

"Superman… and the robbery. Fascinating, isn't it?" she said sarcastically. Clark just smiled nervously. Lois' eyes moved to the elevator and her eyes widened. "Lucy! What are you doing here?" Lois asked, getting up slowly at the sight of her little sister.

"Hi! What's up, Clark?" she nodded to Clark in acknowledgement. "I was just walking past your office and…" Lucy's eyes slowly traveled to Lois' computer screen. "…Are you writing about how tight and sexy Superman's costume is again?" Lucy frowned.

"LUCY!" Lois gasped and clamped a hand over Lucy's mouth. Clark immediately blushed.

"What? Didn't you say that he looked extremely hot in his costume the other day?" Lucy pulled Lois' hand away.

"No, I didn't," Lois tried to lie unsuccessfully.

"Yes, you did," Lucy answered.

"No, I didn't," Lois' face was beet-red.

"Oh, yes, you did," Lucy countered.

"Well, I guess I should be…" Clark tried to get away from the scene.

"LANE! KENT! THAT LITTLE PHOTOGRAPHER…JIMMY! YES, JIMMY! ALL OF YOU! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!" Perry White screamed at the doorway of his office.

"Look out. It'll be one fun rollercoaster," Lois mumbled heading to the office with Clark and Jimmy.

"Lucy!" Lois called, whipping around, bumping into Clark. She tried to dodge him but every time she did, she kept bumping into him. Finally, he stopped her and picked her up by her waist and put her on the other side gently. He smiled and headed over to Perry's office.

Lois smiled giddily in return and was in a daze before she turned back to Lucy's direction. "Don't get into any trouble!" Lois warned her.

"I'm twenty- freaking-five years old! Don't you trust me?" Lucy asked innocently.

"Yeah, trusting you would be like trusting a chimpanzee with matches and dynamite," Lois mumbled, turning to head over to the office.

"LANE! HURRY UP!" Perry's voice barked.

"Coming!" she sang, quickening her pace.

When she got in and closed the door she placed her hands on her hips. "Word of advice, never ask a woman in heels to pick up the pace," she limped over to her chair.

"Really? No wonder my wife left me!" Perry laughed. Jimmy was the only one who laughed along.

"Is it wrong that I never get his jokes?" Lois whispered to Clark.

"It's not. Because I never get them either," Clark whispered back.

"Well, I hate to cancel this intimate make out session, but I have important news to tell you!" Perry barked at the two.

"Oh, but we weren't…" Lois tried to explain.

"No talking," Perry raised his hand as a 'halt' sign.

"Chief, we didn't…" Clark tried to explain as well.

"Talking will only be done by yours truly," Perry interrupted him.

"Chief…" Jimmy started to ask.

"JIMMY, PLEASE! MY PATIENCE IS ABOUT TO RUN OUT!" Perry bellowed. The three sat in vengeful silence.

"Anyhoo, something important has come up. And it is called 'The Company Bowling Team Championships'," Perry continued intently. Lois opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind when she saw Perry glare at her. "I have selected my team. And they are sitting right in front of me," Perry smiled, pleased. The three that were sitting in front of Perry furrowed their brows. This time, Clark opened his mouth to say something but stopped when Perry interrupted him.

"YOU THREE will be on my team! Together, the four of us will strive for the Golden Cup!" Perry cried. The four of them sat in silence. "Well, what do you think?" Perry asked.

"You really have nothing else to do, do you?" Lois asked bluntly, folding her arms.

"Alright then, here are your bowling shirts," Perry ignored Lois' statement and pulled out a box.

"For real? Bowling shirts?" Jimmy cringed.

"Damn straight, shorty!" Perry answered. Jimmy looked at him, stunned.

"See? Next time you want to have a gangsta moment, don't have it while I'm in the room," Perry sighed at Jimmy. Perry threw them each a bright, red shirt.

"Seriously?" Clark asked.

"Seriously," Lois sighed, staring at the shirt in her hands.

"Okay. No ifs, ands, or buts! If you're not at the Metropolis Bowling Center on Saturday night, at 8 p.m. sharp, your careers will be in serious shit," Perry stated intently.

"All because of bowling!" Lois cried in disbelief.

"All because of bowling," Perry replied seriously.

"SERIOUSLY!" Lois cried.

"Seriously," Clark sighed, shaking his head, staring at the shirt.

"I don't believe this," Jimmy mumbled.

"Be there or be square," Perry warned all of them.

**A/N: Ha ha! What did you think? Please review! I'll update soon! Oh, Richard's out of the picture. Period. Just trying to keep this piece simple. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I'll post more soon! Thanks for reading! **


	2. Words Of Irony

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so much for all your reviews! I truly appreciate them! I really do! Here's another chapter. Actually, I wanted to postpone the tournament for another chapter or two, but, I'm not a cruel, horrible person. So, I give to you, from the bottom of my heart, a chapter full of humor that I hope you don't think I'm pitifully attempting at. Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER TWO**

"Glad to see you boys could make it!" Perry exclaimed. Clark and Jimmy were wearing their shirts very self-consciously. They stared at Perry in stunned silence. Perry was wearing all kinds of bowling gear. A white headband, red wristbands, and if this list continues, he will have to cut off his…

"You look…great, Chief. Top notch," Jimmy stuttered. Clark nodded, not wanting to actually lie to Perry.

"I know! Wear's your bowling gear?" Perry frowned.

"I…uh…I…uh…uh… a peacock…I…uh…" Clark stuttered in reply.

"Never mind! I brought some extra wristbands and an extra headband," Perry rummaged through his bowling bag.

"You could've said anything. Anything in the world. It just had to be 'peacock'," Jimmy whispered sadly to Clark. Clark shrugged sheepishly.

"I'll keep one wristband for Lois. Here, who gets the last wristband?" Perry asked.

"I CALL WRISTBAND!" Clark raised his hand quickly.

"Damn!" Jimmy growled quietly.

"I admire your enthusiasm, Kent! Very nice!" Perry patted Clark on the back.

"Too slow," Clark whispered to Jimmy in a 5-second triumph.

"We know who gets the headband now," Perry slipped the headband on Jimmy's head. "There," Perry looked at Jimmy proudly. Clark sighed and shook his head in pity.

"Pretty," Jimmy uttered weakly.

"So, you screwed me over, Perry White!" a voice rang from behind them. The three turned to the source of the voice. They saw Lois Lane with her hands on her hips, her hair perfect as always, her face glowing, a little flushed. Clark gave a little smile, admiring how gorgeous she looked in red. Perry looked at her questioningly. "You knew I had to go through Hell to find a babysitter on a Saturday night! Well, guess what? Mission accomplished!" Lois cried, walking over to them. "Look over there," she pointed to the Bowling Center entrance. The three men looked over to the direction. They saw Lucy and Lily bringing Jason inside. But before that, Lucy turned and waved excitedly to Lois.

"See? Mission accomplished indeed. Let's go in," Perry motioned for them to follow him.

"What?" Lois frowned.

"I didn't get it either. Let's go," Clark whispered to her. Lois groaned and followed everyone inside.

They entered the brightly lit bowling center. Lucy, Lily and Jason strolled up to them.

"Good luck, you guys!" Lucy said in excitement. She turned to Jimmy and smiled at him broadly. "Knock em' all down," Lucy kissed Jimmy on the cheek. Jimmy blushed furiously, till his face was the same color as his shirt.

"Good luck," Jason hugged all of them. A series of 'thank yous' and 'aww, how adorables' came from the team.

"I've seen your competitors. Wow. So, good luck!" Lily whispered to Lois and kissed everyone on the cheek before turning away to follow Jason and Lucy to their seats.

Lois was dumbfounded. "Aye. I know what that woman means. Let's get our shoes," Perry said quietly.

"Wow," Lois mumbled.

"Yeah, now he's a pirate?" Jimmy frowned.

"I think Lois meant the competitors," Clark corrected Jimmy.

"No, actually, it's both. Pretty overwhelming if you ask me," Lois shook her head.

"Oh, Lois! Before I forget! Wear this!" Perry tossed a wristband to her.

"Seriously?" Lois looked at the wristband.

"SERIOUSLY!" Jimmy pointed to his headband. Lois turned to Clark questioningly.

"Seriously," Clark nodded, showing his wristband.

"Sizes," a woman in her late forties, wearing a bored expression mumbled.

"Eleven," Perry muttered.

"Ten," Jimmy sighed.

"Seven," Lois said.

"Thirteen," Clark smiled.

"Hey, there, big boy," a woman, in her late twenties, blonde, blue-eyed and wearing a yellow bowling shirt sauntered between Clark and Lois.

"Hey!" Lois was about to protest but the woman cut her off.

"Yes?" Clark greeted her.

"I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous your hair is," the woman ran her fingers through Clark's hair. Clark gingerly pulled away.

"I'm Wendy. Wendy Travis. From The Metropolis Times. You're Clark Kent, right?" she continued flirtatiously.

"Yeah. I'm Lois Lane," Lois interrupted her.

"Okay," Wendy rolled her eyes and turned back to Clark. Lois raised an eyebrow, seeing how rude this woman was.

"You write a lot on the Health Section as well, right?" Wendy purred.

"Um… well, yes," Clark stuttered, seeing how pissed Lois was.

"You see, I have these heart palpitations," Wendy took Clark's hand and brought it to her chest.

"Oh, my God!" Lois whispered in disbelief. Apparently, she was listening to everything Wendy was saying. Clark cleared his throat as he quickly pulled away his hand nervously. Wendy gave a little pout.

"You know, maybe you could even help me with my mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," Wendy continued with a mischievous look in her eye.

"Be gone, she-devil," Perry growled at Wendy.

"Hey, there, old man. Aren't you a little too old to be bowling? Wouldn't want you to get a slipped disk," she countered Perry icily.

"Why don't you just go back to your little team, Winnie?" it wasn't much of a question by Lois, but, it was more of an order.

"It's Wendy!" Wendy growled in return before stalking off.

"Oh, my God! Where is she from? 'Whores-R-Us'?" Lois asked Clark sarcastically.

"Yeah. She really freaked me out," Clark shook his head.

"I'm glad," Lois muttered.

"What?" Clark didn't really hear what Lois had said.

"I'm bad," Lois quickly covered what she had said just now. "I wonder if they're going to play that song later," Lois babbled on.

"This way," Perry waved his hand so they would follow. As they approached their alley, they saw another team next to them. The Metropolis Times. They were all wearing yellow bowling shirts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What kind of barbaric place, is this?" Lily asked as she, Lucy and Jason sat up in the stands.

"It's pretty cool, Lily," Lucy answered.

"Yes, of course, it is," Lily looked at a man, choking down a can of beer.

"Look, just sit down! I'm sure everything will be fine. It's just a bowling match. Nothing exciting is going to actually happen," Lucy sighed.

"Yeah, sure," Lily grumbled.

"Look! It's about to start!" Jason clapped his hands.

**A/N: Well, maybe I'm just a little, teeny-weeny bit cruel. I'm sorry! I just had to leave a cliff hanger! It's the only way I function! Next chapter, tournament! Promise! Please, please, please review! I'll continue faster if you do! Thanks so much for reading! Reviews will be always appreciated!**


End file.
